Friday Feast #191

Appetizer
What is the nearest big city to your home?

Um…Toronto…??

Soup
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?

Depending on the context, I would say a 10.

Salad
Describe your hair (color, texture, length).

Dirty blonde, completely buzzed.

Main Course
What kind of driver are you? Courteous? Aggressive? Slow?

Courteous and anxiety-ridden.

Dessert
When was the last time you had a really bad week?

A bad WEEK? Not in a while…generally, I tend to have bad days. I have a feeling two weeks from now will be bad, but I’ll deal.

Haiku Movie Review™ - IRON MAN

How does Tony Stark
Manage to find all of those
Perforated shirts?

The Phantom Zone - May 14, 2008

Some stylish bike racks have been revealed.

Mondo-Ricko offers up some annoying office jargon (which I whole-heartedly agree with).

Three “Heroes” stars attend an event - start makin’ new episodes, you a-holes!!!

Apparently, food theft is a huge problem at Berkley.

A surprisingly effective Speed Racer review.

A guide to GTAIV online.

Happy Birthday to a legend.

Dead Robot offers another England story.

An interesting perspective from Romach.

It’s official - Alanis Morrisette is a c*nt.

Finally - the best. headline. ever.

New “Quantum of Solace” Production Stills

NIIIICE!

The Phantom Zone - May 12, 2008

Romach took a little walk.

Dead Robot has a couple (1, 2) England Stories

The Star Wars: Clone Wars trailer.

LittleBigPlanet trailer.

American Idol DRAMA.

All the cheats you’ll need for GTA IV.

A warning about those free clotheslines that Ontario Hydro was flogging.

Gooster has some sweet Friday Fur.

Great Hell’s Kitchen recap.

Everyone already knows that Bill O’Reilly is a total loon - here is incontrovertible proof.

Hmmm…

How do I go about giving people a password to view private entries?  I mean, aside from actually posting it on here which, to the best of my rudimentary knowledge of life, would completely defeat the purpose of the exercise…

A Racist Update

This blog entry refers to this previous one “A Racist Question About Racism“

So the coworker mentioned in the linked blogpost above comes up to me today and we start shootin’ the shit.  Talking about going to the gym, working out, commuting, etc.

Then she looks at me in the midst of our TTC conversation, moves in a little closer and says, “You know, I hate to say this, but Pakis…you know, Pakis?”

“Uh…yeah?” I replied.

“Well, on the bus, the Pakis always smell.  I don’t know if they hang their clothes over the stove or what, but they all smell of curry.”

“Ah…well…um…I mean, I find everyone smells on the bus during the summer, regardless of nationality.”

“Really?  I find it’s only the Pakis.”

“Gotcha.”

“Oh,” she moves in even closer, “and the Chinese people.”

“What?”

“The Chinese people always push you out of the way.  I think it’s because in their country if you don’t push people out of the way on the subway, you won’t get on.  It’s not like I blame them.”

“No, of course not.”

“It’s a cultural thing.”

“Well, I’ve never found people to be pushy on the subway, but that could be down to my size.”

“Maybe.”

There were a few awkward lingering moments of conversation until it finally returned to working out.  I smiled and nodded, half annoyed at myself for not calling her out on her totally racist outlook and half amused at her aggressive ignorance.

I’m going to hell.

Meryl as Julia

OMG…this is freakish.

Love me some Meryl. Can’t wait for this movie!

The Phantom Zone - May 9, 2008

It’s the time again - imprisonment in the endless, eternal living death of the Phantom Zone…

Gooster is meme’ing.

Romach is naughty.

Photoshop Phriday from last week at somethingawful.com.

Dead Robot has me anticipating England stories…

Up rounds up the worst video game box covers.

Nathaniel at Film Experience Blog has never been to Disneyworld…for the record, neither have I. I suffer the most.

Steve at Defying Despondency has a great tip.

The great one I was named after shall be attending the Edinburgh Film Festival.

Friday Feast #190

Appetizer
When someone smiles at you, do you smile back?

Usually, yes.

Soup
Describe the flooring in your home. Do you have carpet, hardwood, vinyl, a mix?

Hardwood, parkay flooring

Salad
Write a sentence with only 5 words, but all of the words have to start with the first letter of your first name.

Sean sings silly, stupid songs.

Main Course
Do you know anyone whose life has been touched by adoption?

I have one friend who was adopted and when my aunt was in her teens, she gave up a baby for adoption who later returned to the family (he was MUCH better off with his adoptive parents).

Dessert
Name 2 blue things.

The sea…and the sky.

Brand New Day

Welcome to the revamped Fortress of Solitude.  Here’s hoping this move is a good one…I’m slightly dubious.

Still…let’s sing, shall we…???

Hello world
It’s like a different way of living now
And thank you world
We always knew that we’d be free somehow
In harmony
And show the world that we’ve got liberty

It’s such a change
For us to live so independently
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about
You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can’t you feel a brand new day?
Can’t you feel a brand new day?

Question to the Reader(s) of this blog…

Hi all,

I’m kind of disappointed with the lack of versatility of Blogger. I really want the ability to make certain entries private or password protected. Is Livejournal better? Help me!

I have some stuff I’d like to write about but that I don’t want published on the vast interwebs for any Trekkies with red pubic hair to peruse with their one free hand…

Categories: Miscellaneous

Tuesday Friday Feast #189

Appetizer
What was your favorite cartoon when you were a child?
I enjoyed Battle of the Planets, but was more into Jem and the Holograms. FAG.

Soup
Pretend you are about to get a new pet. Which animal would you pick, and what would you name it?
I want a dog named Gozer.

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
8.5

Main Course
What kind of music do you listen to while you drive?
James Bond stuff.

Dessert
When was the last time you bought a clock? And in which room did you put it?
I bought a clock when I first moved into my new place and put it in the living room.

Categories: Friday_Feast

As if you needed a reason…

…to completely ignore the new big screen version of the anime classic, “Speed Racer,” a more conclusive and immediate reason arises…

Categories: Miscellaneous

The Return of the Gremlins

If you ever wondered what happened to those scaley, lizard-lookin’ things that you accidentally fed after midnight…they’re in England, terrorizing BT customers. Check out this sweet ad.

Categories: video

The Phantom Zone - May 1, 2008

After a lovely trip to the zoo with J yesterday, I decided to banish a few more bloggers to an eternal living death in the Phantom Zone…

Romach is bound.
Dead Robot is a Bully.
A birthday was celebrated by Gooster…Happy B-Day!
Defying Despondency was caught.
A length bit of passiveaggressive.com(ness).
PS3Fanboy has a couple interesting entries about Burnout Paradise and
the Playstation Store.
ONTD updates us on a Dusty Springfield biopic (excited!),
Japanese Star Wars ads, and
Disney and Kathy Griffin falling out…
Finally, a review of one of my favourite eateries, Island Foods.

Categories: The_Phantom_Zone

Some PS3 games I’m dying to get…

Grand Theft Auto IV - who isn’t dying for this shit, huh?

Aliens - Colonial Marines Crazy shit!!

Ghostbusters (just heard about this today - JEEBUS!!!)

Categories: PS3

Friday Feast #188

Appetizer
Name something you would categorize as weird.
Drinking coffee in the shower

Soup
What color was the last piece of food you ate?
brown with off-white liquid (all bran and soy milk)

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy being alone?
Probably hovering around a 6, but I intend to get it higher.

Main Course
Fill in the blank: I will _________ vote for ___________ in _______.
I will not vote for an American in 2008.

Dessert
Describe your sleeping habits.
Erratic. I sleep on my side with my arms crossed or clutching a pillow. I need 7.5 hours or I’m unbearable (mentally).

Categories: Friday_Feast

A to Z

A - ADVOCATE FOR: Shellfish rights

B - BEST FEATURE: My eyes, legs…?

C - COULD DO WITHOUT: Self image issues, egoistic thinking

D - DREAMS & DESIRES: To have a job that enriches me spiritually, creative and financially

E - ESSENTIAL ITEMS: Blackberry, comfy shoes

F - FAVORITE PAST TIME: Relaxing, reading, playing PS3, chilling with friends

G - GOOD AT: Cooking, artistic endeavors, computer stuff

H - HAVE NEVER TRIED: Skydiving, scuba diving, diving with sharks

I - IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS: Pay off debt, buy a house

J - JUNKIE FOR: Useless trivia, film stuff

K - KINDRED SPIRIT: Not sure that I know myself well enough to pick someone who I feel is kin to me

L - LITTLE KNOWN FACT: I have severe anxiety attacks over non-existent issues, situations, circumstances

M - MEMORABLE MOMENT: Realizing that I hadn’t lost any of my artistic abilities about a month ago…

N - NEVER AGAIN WILL I: Be a prisoner of egocentric, destructive thoughts

O - OCCASIONAL INDULGENCE: Pizza. :s Lame, I know.

Q - QUOTE: “Only you can make yourself happy”

R - REASON TO SMILE: Life is good.

S - SORRY ABOUT: hurting people, consciously or unconsciously

T - TAG SOME FRIENDS: Uh…I dunno. I tagged them in a meme less than 24 hours ago…I should stop. lol

U - UNINTERESTED IN: External gratification.

V - VERY SCARED OF: Not much…guns?!

W - WORST HABIT: Procrastination and I’m my own worst enemy at times.

X - X MARKS MY IDEAL VACATION SPOT: Scotland, Europe, Africa, the Far East

Y - YUMMIEST DESSERT: Frozen Yogurt…anything without fruit.

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius/Pisces

Categories: Miscellaneous

The Phantom Zone - April 24, 2008

I’ve decided to start posting some of the entries I find interesting that appear on the many blogs I read regularly. And by many, I mean millions and by read, I mean skim quite superficially. Nice pictures will always get my vote!

Anyway…here we go…

Banished to The Phantom Zone this week:

• Romach poses an interesting question
• Dead Robot recounts a horrible experience
• Re-Imagineering is still relaying the It’s a Small World Saga
  (I, for the record, am genuinely interested)
• my new plaid pants gives us another installment of Thursdays Ways Not to Die
• CityTV offers a new method for repelling teenage vagrants
• Wil Wheaton’s garden is overrun.
• PS3 Fanboy makes my favourite game even better…
• passiveaggressivenotes.com gives us an honest reply
• Torontoist turns a sympathetic eye to an abandoned house
  (that is actually right down the street from my apt building)
  

Categories: ThePhantomZone

…

Check out this article.

I am utterly speechless.

Categories: Miscellaneous

Tips for Retards #42

My good buddy Tyler and I made our first pilgrimage of 2008 to the mecca of all things quasi-heterosexual, Crappy Tire, last night. I was just a wingman, really having no purpose other than to keep Tyler company which I was quite happy to do. We met up as soon as Tyler got home from work and headed out.
Tyler’s goal was to buy some paint that was going off sale this Friday. We painted his kitchen and parts of his living room last summer, but he was looking to redo the living room. Anyway, anyway, anyway…we get to Crappy Tire and head to the paint department. While waiting for the CT employee at the counter to finish with a sweet old lady, who was the spitting image of the old lady trying to get insurance in The Incredibles, this skankalicious woman with a South African accent comes up and says hi to us. Tyler, of course, begins a dialogue with her as I sink further and further into any other aisle within fleeing distance. Before I disappeared altogether though, I heard her actually say (brace yourself)…

“I’m a woman - what do I know about painting??”

I was milliseconds away from retorting…

“You complete and utter inability to put pigment on a flat surface has very little to do with your dried up, prune-like, aged va-jay-jay,” but I managed to resist.

This is a pretty broad (no pun intended), wide-ranging tip:

Tips for Retards #42

“Whether you’re a woman, a man or anything in between…don’t be a FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. Full stop.”

Categories: Tips_For_Retards

Best Photo I’ve Seen Today

Categories: Best_Photo_I’ve_Seen_Today

Meme

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?

In 1998, I was working at Sam the Record Man, I believe. I honestly can’t remember the specifics. Prolly living in a shithole at Dufferin and Eglinton, overrun with roaches and smelly neighbours.

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today:

1. Shower
2. Shave
3. Laundry
4. Watch last night’s Hell’s Kitchen
5. Chill with Tyler tonight

3) Snacks I enjoy:

Tortilla’s with black bean and corn salsa, frozen yogurt

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

1. Buy myself and a couple friends permanent residences
2. I would travel around the world
3. Allow my parents to retire
4. Return to university for shits and giggles
5. Pay off someone’s student loans…you know who you are.

5) Five of my bad habits:

1. I overanalyze
2. I worry about non-existent, usually non-logical events that will never happen
3. Bad with money
4. Procrastinating
5. No attention span

6) 5 places I have lived:

1. Sudbury, ON
2. Chelmsford, ON
3. Toronto, ON
4. Oakville, ON
5. Hamilton, ON

…wow…boring

7) 5 jobs I have had:

1. Cash manager in retail
2. In-bound call centre at a publisher
3. Office manager
4. Sandwich artist (heehee!)
5. Hospital grunt

5 peeps I wanna know more about:

1. Ian
2. Romach
3. Dead Robot
4. Mark
5. Eiain

Categories: TAG

DHAHAHAAAA!!!

Oh man…as people may or may not know, I listen to Howard Stern on Sirius satellite radio religiously. Today, during one of the many entertaining conversational sections of the show, Howard commented on a cupcake that sidekick Artie Lange was eating - the thing had about 1500 calories jammed into it and Artie eats them like they’re going out of style. Anyway, anyway, anyway…in the midst of the conversation they played one of the many song parodies that people from all over the world send in…and this one made me squeal with glee (coz I love the original song) and then nearly pee my pants at the cleverness of the rejigged lyrics. By the time the second chorus came up, the entire studio was singing along… LOL

Artie Loves Pancakes (sung to Bonnie Tyler’s “Heartache”)

Artie loves pancakes
He’ll wash them down with chocolate shakes
He’s gaining so much god damn weight
Coz Artie loves pancakes

He’s gonna be on “Entourage”
But his ass is the size of a garage
He’s gonna lose that job
He can’t wipe his ass on the bowl
Coz all those pancakes block his asshole
What a fat slob

Artie loves pancakes
He’ll wash them down with chocolate shakes
He’s gaining so much god damn weight
Coz Artie loves pancakes

(repeat)

Best bit: Immediately upon the song fading out, Artie piped up, “Lisa, can you get me a fork?”

Categories: Miscellaneous

Can you name them…?

Hmmm…didn’t do as well as I thought I would…

1 ?
2 a xenomporh from the Alien series
3 from centipede?
4 the Predator from Predator
5 the Sesame Street aliens, “Yup, yup, yup!”
6 Marvin the Martian
7 bug alien from Starship Troopers
8 Krang from the Simpsons
9 The Silver Surfer
10 A Vogon from THGTTG
11 ?
12 The Thing?
13 A tribble
14 ?
15 ?
16 ?
17 Galactus from Silver Surfer
18 E.T.
19 The first alien from Close Encounters
20 ?
21 galaxian or galaga alien
22 space invaders alien
23 The alien in the tank from Dune?
24 ?
25 Klaatu
26 Nibbler from Futurama
27 The Great Gazoo
28 Mr. Spock
29 ?
30 ?
31 Alien from War of the Worlds (remake)
32 ?
33 An Andorian
34 ?
35 ?
36 ..or is this the Predator?
37 Martian from Mars Attacks
38 Mork
39 Beldar Conehead
40 ?
41 ?
42 ?
43 ?
44 ?
45 ?
46 Dr. John Zoidberg from Futurama
47 ALF
48 Admiral Ackbar
49 Greedo
50 ?

Categories: TAG

Friday Feast #187

Appetizer
Name a color you find soothing.
Uh…Dusty Rose…?

Soup
Using 20 or less words, describe your first driving experience.
Horrific, standard car, stuck on hill…mum screaming. FUN TIMES!!

Salad
What material is your favorite item of clothing made out of?
Cotton.

Main Course
Who is a great singer or musician who, if they were to come to your town for a concert, you would spend the night outside waiting for tickets to see?
At this point in time? No one.

Dessert
What is the most frequent letter of the alphabet in your whole name (first, middle, maiden, last, etc.)?
3-way tie…

N - 3
R - 3
A - 3

Categories: Friday_Feast

Ethel Merman and The Muppets

I know, super gay of me to post this, but it’s fantastic….especially Miss Piggy’s bit. Too funny.

She’s a papillion…

My bud Mark over at Mark’s Rants and Raves recently posted a striking photo of two butterflies. I found it quite inspiring and decided to make it my innaugural painting of my new watercolour set. I’m quite pleased with the result…

Untitled, watercolour on cold press paper, 9″ x 12″

I took a little artistic license for composition purposes, but it’s fairly faithful to the original. You can view a much larger version of it on my flickr account

Categories: Miscellaneous

Friday Feast #185

Appetizer
What does the color dark green make you think of?
A forest…?

Soup
How many cousins do you have?
Five

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how honest are you?
With certain people, a definite 10. Others, prolly around a 6.

Main Course
Name something that is truly free.
I’ll tell you what’s NOT free…freedom.

Dessert
Using the letters in the word SPRING, write a sentence.
Sean pulls rants if nobody gushes.

Categories: Friday_Feast