Hello, hello!

Socializing at work has never been something I enjoy. I find it exacerbates tenuous situations and complicates people’s unfortunately simple minds. In past jobs, I have been the guy who says “Hey” to everyone and will go talk for a minute or two at various people’s desks.

When I started working for my present employer (which was 4 years ago now), I decided to keep a low profile. It prevents me from becoming entangled in office melodramas as well as confusing my work-life with various idiocies that invariably pop up.

Despite people’s attempts to wrangle me into conversations on any number of subjects, I generally manage to slip out of them as deftly as an lubed otter*.

I walk into work this morning a little moist because of the torrential downpour outside. I have an umbrella in my hand that is peeing off water at an incredible rate and I am listening to my MP3 player. I hit the “up” button on the elevator. I stand and wait, sopping wet.

Then suddenly, this woman comes into view, waving like I was going off to war. I get my shirt soaked by removing my headphones and she goes, “Good morning!”

Sean’s external reply, “Hey.”

Sean’s internal reply, “Good morning? GOOD MORNING? I removed my god damn headphones, getting myself SOAKED so that your smug fat ass can say, ‘Good morning!’ Are you a MOTHER F’ING RETARD?!”

If you want to tell me that the office has blown up, feel free to interrupt me as this woman did – I’d be glad for the information. If, however, you say a flippant “good morning” to me and I am listening to my headphones so I don’t hear you…

Take.
a.
fucking.
hint.

WHY do people make going through life as a complete and utter asshole so much work?

*Speaking of otters and similar creatures, I am giving even MORE serious consideration to getting a ferret (or even two so they can keep each other company while I’m at work). Probably won’t do it until Christmas, but it’s likely gonna happen.

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~ by seangstm on August 19, 2005.

One Response to “Hello, hello!”

  1. LMAO

    -Chris

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