Ze Veekend…

…was mediocre. The highlight(s) was/were going out with my friend Ian Saturday night and Sunday night for some cannabis and beer. Truly a good time was had by all on both nights.

Ian and I began speaking of my roommate (who is a mutual acquaintance of ours) and how he was celebrating his anniversary. Ian meant his anniversary at work but didn’t say, so being the mental defective that I am, I assumed that he meant his ANNIVERSARY with his boyfriend (which was around the same time). We got in an argument about dates and how the year ended on one month, while I thought it ended on a another (since we were speaking about different things). It was resolved shortly, since neither of us give two shits about his work or relationship anniversary.

Somehow the conversation moved to open relationships (which I don’t understand or relate to myself, but live and let live, I say) and I came up with a really clever and cutting line (as has been known to happen in the past) about it. It was, “Celebrating your anniversary in an open relationship is like cheering because you crossed a street with no traffic.”*

Which is true. I don’t really believe in open relationships – it’s like buying a dog but then dog-walking for the whole block. What’s the point? Sure – you make some extra cash, but I personally don’t have the time or the inordinate amount of plastic baggies required.

Never had an open relationship myself. To me the moment the relationship becomes open, it doesn’t exist anymore. “I’m really, really into you. I love you. But…to make our love ‘better’ I think we should sleep with other people.”

WHAT.
IS.
THE.
POINT?

Become single again. You might as well be, it’ll be cheaper for you in the long run.

The boyfriend feels the same on this issue. He’s a keeper in all sorts of ways.

*It should be noted that I am not entirely sure if this was the EXACT line as I was completely and utterly pissed at that point in the night and frankly – I cannot remember. HOWEVER, in thinking back, it is likely it was something similar. I have come up with a reasonable, hand-drawn facsimile of the original line. In any event, I made up both, so credit where it’s due – I am amazing.

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~ by seangstm on August 22, 2005.

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