Judd and The Evil Friday Bible

Let’s get the Feast out of the way….


Appetizer
Name 3 qualities that are important to you in friendship.
Loyalty, honesty and a big wang.

Soup
If you could dream about anything tonight, what would the subject matter be?
That I had superpowers.

Salad
Do you usually make an effort to personally thank people who do favors for you?
Yes, but like everyone else, sometimes we forget – we’re only human.

Main Course
If you had to go out of town for an extended period of time, who would you trust to take care of your home and belongings?
Ian or Glen (notice my roommate is absent…ASSHOLE).

Dessert
How do you react to practical jokes when they’re played on you?
Very well…but no one has ever survived long enough to back up my claim.


I SMITE THEE!!!

My friend Glen sent me a link to this rather interesting site. Which really does tell the truth about the book that so many people are beholden to for no reason which I can discern. I myself attended Catholic school and created a scandal when I refused confirmation in Grade 8. CLUTCH THE PEARLS! Not my bag, sorry.

I respect people’s religions to the extent the law requires.*

Anyway, the site contained this list which I found most amusing…


Top Ten Signs You’re a Fundamentalist Christian

10 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 – You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!

6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”

3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.

2 – You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call yourself a Christian.


Enough of that unimportant crap – I managed to take in only ONE reality show last night – Survivor: Gautemala, which I have to say I am really into this year. I haven’t watched religiously since they went to Africa and that afro-sheened hottie, Ethan Zohn, won the title of Survivor.
In any event, I really enjoy this year solely based on the fact that they nearly kill a contestant in every episode. NICE! In episode 1, we got a heaping helping of death bells ringing as a total of 4 guys were down for the count; one even providing us with an eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of-yer-head moment. Episode 2 had this pretty boy who was still sick from Episode 1, wheezing and hacking and passing out all over the place. Excellent. Last night, we had 114° heat and crocodiles popping up out of the lake near camp. WICKED!
Nothing too eventful this week although they reached an all time low in editing the show to make us think someone was getting voted off who wasn’t – it was going to be Brooke from the START and we all knew it.
My new favourite player is the uber-heterosexual New Yorker, Judd, who is an early favourite to win everything. If he keeps playing his cards right, he could land himself into the merger and perhaps the Top 3. Despite being gruff, homophobic, sexist and rude, he manages to be charming and he works his ASS off in challenges.
One minor quibble about last night, however, he took AGES to break a tile in the Immunity Challenge. His hetero pride wouldn’t let him give up until he did break it. He should have politely bowed out and let someone else go. Unfortunately, he did not and I think it might come to bite him in the ass next week when his tribe mates decide he betrayed them (as indicated in the preview).
Here’s the lowdown – they merged half a tribe with half of another. Judd decided to join with his new tribemates and vote against one of his former tribemates, thereby screwing ALL his former tribemates who are now seriously outnumbered. It’s EXCELLENT plan but unfortunately, some crazy ass soccer mom bitch on the team (one of his former tribemates) is none too happy next week and, as I said before, accuses him of ‘betraying’ them. Get over it, lady…it’s SURVIVOR not a QUILTING BEE.
Didn’t do much else last night but play with Orko (pictures on left). He seems to hate me this morning for whatever reason – he was very skittish – I might have rolled over him in the middle of the night, poor fellow. He was very accepting when I gave him his meds this morning, although he dribbled quite a bit.
Should have my camera back tonight so I’ll have some more pictures of him on flickr.com soon!

Ta,
S.

*based on a quote by Hermes Conrad, Bureaucrat #37, Planet Express Delivery Company

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~ by seangstm on October 7, 2005.

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