Happy Pills!

Yes, it looks like our favourite judge-under-the-influence, Paula Abdul, again dipped into the magic beans for last night’s episode of American Idol. Ah, well, at least it makes for interesting TV. In all seriousness, last night’s American Idol was pretty damn good television, despite Paula’s usual antics. The performers, save one, were all-around impressive. The one I speak of is the unfortunate and soon-to-be-cut Elliot Yamin. Our buck-toothed hero, despite his ‘soulful’ performances and husky voice, will sadly be eliminated tonight. That’s right, I predicted it here. Elliot Yamin is going home. And you can take that shit to the bank. He sang three unmemorable and barely recognizable songs and seemed shaken throughout the entire evening – like when you’re at opening night for your elementary school’s production of Once Upon a Mattress and Susy tells you you have a huge poo stripe on your pants, while the director simultaneously calls for your entrance. He just seemed uneasy all night and was stiff, despite the judges telling him to loosen up.
Katherine McPhee performed her first song, which was unremarkable and badly chosen, but Clive Davis was the big song decision maker for the first round of the evening, so not much could be done about it. Her second song, however, was a very cool rendition of Somewhere Over The Rainbow, and it brought the house down. Honestly, in the amount of time I’ve been watching (see: screaming at) AI, this was hands down the best single performance on the show. It was really electric. Okay, cheesy bit done now.
She did, though, sing the song in a rather annoying side-saddle type position, seated on the stage. It was fairly reminiscent of Judy Garland’s last performances of the piece from her bedside while swimming through a barbituate haze. Nice tribute there.
Unfortunately, Katherine’s last song was asstastically bad and not suited to her at all. The judges all around panned it, ranging from Randy’s “just not the right song choice” to Simon’s “too bad you had to sing that song last, coz people won’t remember your other performance.” The best thing about Katherine’s critiques was her “Are you on meds? I’m amazing, assholes” look throughout. Oh wait…here it is, courtesy of TVGasm:

Ah well…we finally arrive at Taylor, who, In My Humble Opinion, will be winning the entire shebang. The only way he can loose is if he gets up and starts dancing with Paula like he did last night. He really needs to keep that epileptic shit to a minimum. There are children in hot countries who suffer from epilepsy…he really shouldn’t flaunt his ability to enter and exit the ‘fever’ at will. It’s cruel and inconsiderate.
Taylor’s first song was Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen. He was great. This was the moment that he took Paula by the hand and they danced together (pictured). It was cute, but the performance was fairly average and run o’ the mill as far as Taylor Hicks is concerned.
His second song was You Are So Beautiful and honestly, the performance rivaled McPhuckUp. It was just really, really good. Again, his last song I cannot recall – the songs were badly laid out by the director of the show (or the producer or whoever) because the middle round (everyone’s second song) was far superior to the last and first rounds. Sadly, people will remember the last round but won’t completely forget the others, either.

Which is why Elliot is going home!


“Get that buck-tooth, freak-ass,
muthah fuckah OFF-AH-MAH-TV!”

Indeed!

Sorry I have nothing better to write about. Had another elevator incident this morning, but I’m getting tired of writing them, so I can imagine people are getting tired of reading about them.
Have to create a slip cover for my sectional couch before I move…gonna be a bitch, although I’ve planned out the pattern and just have to measure about 500 different angles now. Then I have to buy the fabric which should run about $100. FUN.

Will keep everyone posted because I know you care. đŸ™‚

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~ by seangstm on May 17, 2006.

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