Tips For Retards™ – Tip No. 16

My adventure walking to work this morning contained so much retardation that it spans the breadth of THREE “Tips for Retards™” – I kid you not.

First of all, M and I were walking along (thanks for getting at the crack of nothing this morning, btw…) past the car dealership on Bay, just north of Carlton (or is it College – seriously, if you’re a street so out of touch with your identity that you need TWO names, one for East of Yonge and one for West of Yonge, you can kiss my ass) and as we round the curved part of the sidewalk directly in front of the place, we encounter a cab driver – driving on the sidewalk…in REVERSE. This would be fine, if the guy knew how to use his rear-view mirror.
I cautiously, but confidently approached the ass of his car as it approached us and then realized – this jackass isn’t gonna stop! So as we swerve leisurely to miss the back end of his cab, I yell, “Hey asshole – learn how to use the rear-view mirror.” He muttered something out the window and we kept on walking.
Then M turns to me and goes, “Ease down.”
“He was driving on the sidewalk – irregardless of his inability to reverse a vehicle,” I replied.
“Okay, you win.”

Tips For Retards™ – Tip No. 16

a) Don’t drive on a sidewalk
b) Don’t drive on a sidewalk in reverse
c) Don’t drive on a sidewalk in reverse without checking your rear-view mirror
d) Don’t drive on a sidewalk in reverse without checking your rear-view mirror and give me fucking attitude when I call you on it

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~ by seangstm on July 27, 2006.

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