Tips for Retards™ – Tip #26

Last night, M was over and I had to do laundry while he cooked dinner. I headed down to the wonderful and friendly laundry room in my building. Now, generally when I do a laundry run, I have 4-5 loads…one load of jeans, one load of black items, one load of white and one load of the other stuff (unless it has never been washed before). When I arrived in the laundry room, not a single washer was free. There was however, a large group of washers that were already finished when I walked it, but the owners of the clothes inside them were nowhere to be seen.

I am of the mind that the laundry room is SHARED by everyone in the building. When you pay for your washer or dryer, that washer or dryer belongs to you for the time that it is running (in this case, 38 minutes for a wash and 50 minutes for a dry). You’ve paid your money and it is yours. Once that time is DONE however, you better be there within a reasonable amount of time to empty it or you’re going to have problems. I know people have lives, children and families that interfere with the ‘laundry process’ but if that’s the case, be prepared for your items to be moved so other people can use the machines that you are NO LONGER USING (sorry, but having wet clothes sit in a washer isn’t ‘using it’ it’s HOGGING it).

Last night, I sat and watched these 5 washers for a total of 12 minutes (I was timing it) and decided that at the 12 minute mark (not to mention the fact that I had no idea how long they’d been stopped prior to my arrival), I was well within my right to use washers that were not being used in the intended manner. They’re washers, not clothes holders.

I removed the clothing and piled it up against the wall behind the corresponding washer and put my stuff in. I started them up and went back upstairs. When I returned 40 minutes later, I had a lovely note taped to the first washer I emptied.

Now, horrific grammar aside, I find this note incredibly offensive. The gall of this person to assume that as long as their wet clothes are sitting in it, people should wait ANY length of time until they remove them is apalling. It’s not YOUR laundry room – it’s EVERYONE’S. Also, you know this bitch didn’t TRAVEL with a piece of duct tape, a sheet of card and a marker. She went upstairs and returned to write the idiotic note.

I felt like leaving this note in response:

RUDE: Assuming that no one else requires a washing machine other than yourself.
RUDE: Expecting people to wait to do their laundry until you’ve eaten your 6th bon bon and saunter on down to the laundry room in your own good time.
RUDE: Assuming that your TURN lasts over 15 minutes after your washer has finished.
…and just for good measure…
STUPID: Leaving notes proclaiming your idiocy and arrogance to an entire laundry room, not just the person who rightfully removed your obstruction from the cycle of the laundry room for the benefit of everyone behind me in line.

My biggest stress while doing laundry is whether or not I will get down in time. This is because a) I am considerate of others, b) I realize there are other people behind me in line and c) I don’t expect someone to sit around waiting for me to remove my laundry – as soon as it hits ZERO, it’s fair game for removal. PERIOD. And if you can’t fucking handle people touching your clothes, DON’T LEAVE THE LAUNDRY ROOM – you’ll never be late and your laundry will be done in the shortest amount of time possible. I can’t sit in a laundry room for that long, so I run the risk. If I was ever late and someone removed my clothes from the washer, I would fucking THANK them for not making me look like a totally inconsiderate, arrogant and rude PRICK (much like the cunty-pants that wrote the note above).

End rant.



~ by seangstm on October 17, 2006.

3 Responses to “Tips for Retards™ – Tip #26”

  1. Well done, S.

    Congrats on both the rocking post as well as having enough restraint not to write a reply.

    I assure you, when I am queen of the world, the ass-munchery of these people will no longer be tolerated.

  2. Thank god. Part of me was still like, “Was that a horrid thing to do?” But I never came up with a “yes” to the questions, so fuck it, I say. Bitch needs to invest in a watch, I tells ya.

  3. Forgot to mention – the REAL irony of the situation is that we have front loading washers…so you can’t even OPEN the fucker until the time hits zero. Ugh. I hate idiots.

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