Request for Abolishment

I submit to you a request for the abolishment of…

E-MAIL THANK YOU NOTES

Now, I’m not talking about an e-mail thank you note for someone’s gift to you and your spouse at your wedding, but frankly if you’re sending out e-cards to thank people for that you’re likely the same kind of BOTARD who makes lasagna with his/her feet.  But I digress…

I’m talking about those meaningless, annoying replies that people send reflexively to say thank you for doing something.  In my position, I do a lot of stuff for a lot of people.  As such, I am often (multiple times a day) on the receiving end of these irritating niceties that should really be sent the way of the knit bikini or the Great Auk.

Here is the scenario:

Some dude asks me to reduce the amount of used space on his hard drive because he can’t turn left without being given a warning that the hard drive is “dangerously” close to capacity (what exactly is the “danger?”).  I go in and fiddle with some of his abnormally large local replicas and free up 40 Gigs of hard drive space – yes, I am that amazing.  I send a lengthy email about what I have done and for him to contact me “should [he] have any questions or concerns” (the silent part of the statement being: “and only then.”).  Of course, not two seconds later, I get a reply from the manager who I cc’d saying, “Thanks.”  And then another reply from the end user saying, “Thanks!”

Maybe your hard drive space would be manageable if you didn’t send pointless notes.  Notes that I have to open under the false pretense of an assumed importance or relevance.  A false pretense that is shattered violently by my click of the mouse.  A click revealing an obnoxiously unwordy and irrelevant “Thanks, dood!”

Brett Somers put it best...

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~ by seangstm on March 22, 2010.

3 Responses to “Request for Abolishment”

  1. Shanksh!

  2. Thanks for the post…

    AHAHAHAHAHA… BOTARD… I’m stealing that

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