Tips for Retards™ – Tip #49

Not so much a tip as a recounting of a totally dildonic conversation I was just stuck in at work…

…we received an email to our general inbox from one of our clients requesting we sign a couple forms. The forms were for inspecting specialized equipment on-site and we are required to sign them annually. No big deal. I forwarded the email to the manager handling it and moved on with my life because beyond forwarding the email, it has nada to do with yours truly.

About an hour later, I get a call from said manager. It should be noted at this point, that I have issues with said manager – he’s a sleazy, corporate ladder climber who uses his nationality as an excuse for rudeness and inconsideration of his fellow human beings. I won’t reveal his nationality, but I will say that without fail any of his rude behaviour is attributed to the country of his upbringing. Frankly, unless the country is Rudeprickistan, I don’t for a second buy it as an excuse for not treating people with basic respect. For the purposes of his undeserved anonymity, let’s call him Twathole. But I digress…

…I answer the phone in my usual, professional manner.

“Company X, Sean speaking.”

“Hi Sean,” he says. I immediately recognize his voice.


“Sean, it’s Twathole.”

“I know – what can I help you with?”

“Sean, that email you sent…”


“…the company is asking for the signatures of our inspectors who visit their site. I can get Inspector #1 and Inspector #2 to sign, but we have other Company X people who will visit these sites. Should I get them to sign, too?”

“What does the email say? I mean, does it say each individual visiting the site needs to sign and return the form?”

“It says each individual visiting the site needs to sign and return the form.”

[there was a good 15 seconds of silence at this point as I waited for some legit reason behind his call to be revealed]

I could no longer stand it and offered, “So…then each Company X employee that visits the site will need to sign and return the form.”

“Yes, but I was wondering if Departmental VP could sign on behalf of Company X…?” Department VP is my direct boss and Twathole’s also.

“I wouldn’t think no, because you just told me the email specifically states that each individual who visits the site needs to sign the form.”

“But I contacted them [the source of the email] and they said Departmental VP could sign on behalf of Company X.”

[there was another 15 seconds of silence as my admittedly non-genius brain tried to shove his square-shaped idiocy
through a round-shaped thing called logic]

Finally, I mustered, “Um…so then get Departmental VP to sign it. I’m a little confused as to what the point of this phone call is, to be honest.”

“Oh – I just wanted to know if you thought asking Departmental VP to sign it was a good idea.”

“As an idea, its fine – but you just need to forward the email on to Departmental VP and ask her to sign.”

“Oh – ok.”

“Alright, thanks.”

“Because I just wanted to discuss it with you.”

“That’s fine – but its got nothing to do with me, Twathole. Thanks. Goodbye.”


Seriously – are you that stupid?


~ by seangstm on May 27, 2011.

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